Free Verse vol. 9

While in my mind
All the vivid feelings I have
Perfectly explain
How much you mean to me
I group these feeling
Into thought
Before they are sent
To my frontal lobe
From there
The thought becomes
A perfect expression
Of my love for you
The expression passes by
The first hurdle
My heart
It takes the expression
And translates it to words
Most times
These words do not translate
How I really feel
Something about you
Changed that
From my heart these words
Reach my diaphragm
Expanding my lungs
To aid me in their delivery
As I begin to speak
My mouth can’t find the words
Instead of letting them free
I trap them in my mind
Trying to improve
What was made perfect
By you
This hesitation
Makes you believe that
I do not care
You start to walk away
Then I try to build words
Directly from my feelings
They may not have been perfect
But that is how they worked
You turned back to me
As I told you from my feelings
I love you
May not have been
The proper words to explain
The depth of all my feelings
But it kept you around
For me to tell you
All the words
That I wanted to say
From my heart

Free Verse vol. 8

My mind doesn’t know
Who I want to be
My heart just wants
To like what I see
My reflection is worst than
All my nightmares combined
Many times I look at myself
And just ask
Who do you want to be
Waiting for an answer as
My reflection sits in cold silence
A tear runs down my face
Carving a scar down my soul
Taking away any good feelings
As it gains more mass
The tear gets so heavy that I
Put my head down in shame
What am I
What will I become
Look up at my reflection
Still no answer
Why do I still care
About who I am
It’s not like I will enjoy
What this world has to offer
Entered head first into life
Now drowning in my sorrow
Trying to learn how
To swim through this universe
Something inside tells me
Just keep swimming
You will know who you are
If you make it to the shore

Free Verse vol. 7

I’m studying volcanism
As I await her response
Two long days
One long guess
I can feel my heart
Beating out my chest
What if she
Wants nothing to do with me
But
What if

I can’t even imagine
Any good response
After the pain I caused
Will she still love me
Can she still love me
I will have to wait and see
Until then
I’ll stare at this phone
Awaiting her reply in misery

What if she wants me
To say something back to her
What if I cannot

Free Verse vol. 6

When I sleep
I see my reality
Not only who I am but
Who I want to be
When I am awake
I no longer feel free
I no longer feel me
On this earth
I feel more like a
Winding jewelry box figurine
Look at how it twirls
Hear how it sings
It can only move when
Someone calls for it

I like what it does
But not what it wants to be
Put it back in the box
Until we want to use it
So it’s not confused with
The world it wants
And the world for it

That’s why we dream
To escape the melancholy
We are the dreamineers
Luminaries of consciousness
That is your reality
And their nightmare

Free Verse vol. 5

We carry these scars
Record of our troubles
Where can the body hold
A record of our joy
The feeling from a perfect view
Gone with the next sight
A touch from our lover
Gone with the next sense
The best food you ever tasted
Gone with the next dish
The best gift you ever received
Gone with the next wish
The only way to store joy
Is to save it in our mind but
Memories come and go
Some we never find
Many scars remain
Even after the fact
Negative memories erase
All of the joy
That’s built up inside
We carry these scars
Embedded in our flesh
Where can the body hold
A record of our joy
We may never know

Are You Alright Mister Lawrence?

tbdAAML

The bond between a mother and son is sacred and like no other. Distance nor time can break this bond. This bond remains strong even in the event of ones death. As voices disappear the memories associated with them remain. You may not remember every good moment you shared but you will never forget any great one.

Like many have experienced, elderly and blind gentleman Mister Lawrence is grief stricken by the death of his mother. While reminiscing on the good times he had with her, Mister Lawrence could not get over what he regretted most about his relationship with his mom. He wished that he could have physically seen what his mom looked like. He has always had a sense of what she looked like from his youth before going blind but no mental image to hold on to. Not being able to actually know what she looks like is keeping him from getting over her death. Later on, he begins to have these strange dreams where he could notice where things are without interacting with them first. In the beginning these things he notice are similar. As time passes they begin to develop unique characteristics that allow him to better identify what he notices. What he experiences in his dreams also begin happening while he is awake and causes him a lot of trouble with his day to day activities and with those around him. Many believe that he is going crazy but some believe otherwise. Find out what is going on with Mister Lawrence. Is he losing his mind or is his mind trying to show him something?

Amazon: Are You Alright Mister Lawrence?